Preparing your home for a live-in carer
A practical checklist for the fortnight before care begins, including the conversations that are easier to have early.
—6 min read
Someone is about to move into your parent's home. A little preparation makes the first week considerably easier for everyone.
The room
The carer needs a private bedroom with a door that closes, somewhere to put their things, and a bed they can actually sleep in.
- A proper bed, made up, with spare bedding
- Wardrobe or drawer space that is genuinely empty
- A chair, a lamp and a bedside surface
- A window that opens and curtains or a blind that closes
- Wi-Fi, and the password written down — this matters more than people expect, because it is how carers stay in touch with their own families
- A mirror and a plug socket near the bed
Clear the room properly. A bedroom half full of storage boxes sends a message nobody intends to send.
The rest of the house
- Bathroom. Make it clear which towels are theirs, and where they can keep their things.
- Kitchen. A shelf and a bit of fridge space of their own.
- Heating. Show them how it works. Old systems are rarely obvious.
- Keys. A set for the carer, and clarity about the alarm code and the back door.
- Safety. Test the smoke alarms, check the stair lighting, and deal with the loose rug everybody has been stepping over for years.
The information a carer needs on day one
Write it down rather than saying it once. Memory fails under pressure, and the first day is a lot to absorb.
- GP surgery: name, address, telephone number
- Pharmacy, and whether prescriptions are delivered
- Current medication, doses and times
- Diagnoses, allergies, and anything the hospital sent home
- Family contacts, in the order they should be called
- Anyone who should not be given information, if that applies
- Which neighbours are trusted and which are not
- Bin day. It sounds trivial. It is the one everyone forgets.
The routine, as it actually is
Not as it should be, or as it was five years ago. Write down the real thing:
- What time do they wake, and what happens first
- Tea or coffee, how it is made, in which cup
- Breakfast, lunch and dinner times, and what is actually eaten
- Bath or shower days
- Which television and radio programmes matter
- Nap habits
- Bedtime and the going-to-bed sequence
- Things that reliably upset, and things that reliably settle
That last pair is the most valuable information you can give anyone.
Conversations worth having early
With your parent. Agree in advance how the carer will be described. "Someone to help around the house" is often easier to accept than "your carer", and there is nothing dishonest about starting there.
With siblings. Decide who is the main point of contact. One voice prevents a great deal of confusion in the first fortnight.
With the carer, on day one. Say what matters to the household — shoes off indoors, no visitors without asking, whichever chair is not to be sat in. These are not fussy requests. They are how a household works, and carers would much rather be told.
The first week
Expect it to be slightly awkward. Two people are learning each other's rhythms, and one of them did not choose this.
Visit, but do not hover. Let the carer and your parent find their own footing. Ring at the end of day three rather than lunchtime on day one.
If something is not working, say so early and plainly. Small things fixed in week one do not become resentments in week six — and a good provider would far rather hear from you than have you quietly unhappy.